How to shower like a man

* Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making the "Woo" sound.
* Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no).
* Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
* Get in shower.
* Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
* Wash armpits.
* Wash privates and the surrounding area.
* Crack up at how loud farts sound in the shower.
* Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.
* NOW !!! Wash face.
* Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
* Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
* Pee (in shower).
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
* Partially dry off.
* Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again).
* Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
* Leave bathroom light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
* Put on yesterday's clothes.



How to shower like a woman

* Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
* Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
* Complain and whine about getting fat.
* Get in shower.
* Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
* Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
* Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
* Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
* Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mould spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of small African country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
* Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

    

Wow. I didn't really thought that there are steps in taking a shower.
But I do appreciate the new information I have read.

Hahaha, you're welcome. I actually was on tears when I first read this thing, it was hilarious as hell! Just wanted to share it with you guys

Lets have some more tips and steps to take bath its one more interesting i came across somewhere so sharing with u people...
Take off your clothes and put them in a pile neatly. Then prepare your tub. Make sure you close the door!
Find a water-holding enclosure big enough for you to fit in. The obvious choice would be a bathtub, but anything big enough and deep enough will work, such as the back of a pickup truck or a wading pool. Be sure that it is water-tight to avoid leaking (and to keep anything else from getting in). You could use a hole dug in the ground with some form of sealant, or a natural water-holding formation such as a basin within stone.
Fill the tub with water. If you have a bathtub built into your shelter of choice, you probably have running water available. If so, turn the faucet on. If not, try using buckets to bring water from your water source to your tub. Fill it until there is enough water to submerge your body in. Keep in mind that the water level will rise by way of displacement when you get in.
Choose your water temperature. Cold baths have their appeal for some, but most prefer to Relax With a Hot Bath. If you have a water heater, odds are that the water came out of the faucet at the temperature you want. If you don't, you can still heat your water. One way would be to build a fire next to your bath, but you risk turning your bath into soup if this is not done properly. A good way to warm a bath is to build a fire near the bath and keep stones on the fire. When the stones get hot enough, begin placing them in the water (not by hand) and churning the water until the temperature reaches the level you want.
Get into the bath (slowly if it's hot). Submerge yourself only up to your neck so as not to drown. If you want to dunk your head, go right ahead, but remember that humans breathe air to survive.
Relax. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and enjoy yourself. If you'd like, you can use soap and shampoo to wash yourself, but remember that your bath water will be full of dirt and soap after you do. If you have chosen the hot stone method, use whatever tool you have used (instead of your bare hands) to put more rocks in to keep your bath warm. If you're inside, drain some water, then give it a burst of hot water from the faucet. When done, drain your bath and dry off.

That's totally very nice tips you got there pal. It is important that every gender has its own habit of showering in the bathroom. Thanks for these nice tips.

hmmmm do we neeed to follow those steps
on how to shower? I have my own way too.
But this is interesting.....I will try tonigh.

Oh my gosh...have you been watching my husband! That is exactly what he does...even the "yeah Baby" comment!
That was hilarious. I am going to forward it to my husband and son. Maybe they will take the hint and start putting their clothes in the hamper and stop soaking my bathroom mat.
I do have to say that my son is a mommas boy so I've got him trained to use the sponge, long loofah (for his back) and a creamy body wash but other than that he's all man.